You said what?

We all have experienced those moments where we wish we could take back something we said.  Or perhaps someone else says something so outrageous that you wish the "rewind" button on your TiVo would work in real life.  Maybe you have even cringed lately while watching any of the news surrounding the NFL crises or something in Hollywood and you wonder if these people regret anything that is taken out of context from an interview.  Bottom line is that it happens.  So how do you react?

In my job I hear stories from all angles of something that was said in an interview situation or general conversation with a candidate or client about an opening.  Sometimes it is comical and a tipping point in a good way.  Other times it is so bad that it completely kills the conversation.  And even occasionally it borders on illegal or unethical.

One of the classic ways to head down a bad path of saying something you regret is when discussing former employers.  Recently I had a candidate find out that the hiring manager who was interviewing him shared a common former employer.  Taking the opportunity to "dish some dirt" he began a rant about the people he didn't like, the bad working conditions, a terrible boss, and much more.  What he didn't realize at the time was that there was a personal connection to this former employer and she did not necessarily leave on bad terms.  Needless to say it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Another common mistake is talking too much about current events in the media or world around us.  Like George Carlin's "Seven words you cannot say on TV", we all know the 3-4 topics to avoid in an interview or work situation.  But I would argue there are many more than that.  Instead of focusing on whether or not everyone in the room agrees on the fall TV line-up or the recent news from Washington, focus on whether or not the candidate can do the job and if the culture is right for the candidate.

Vulgar language is yet another common problem in interview situations.  I have seen all spectrums from employers that curse in an interview just to see how candidates react to situations that become obscenity-laden in short order.  This becomes awkward if there are more than a couple of people in the room.  I was recently in a meeting myself with a client and there were four people in the room.  One of the hiring managers let go a couple of F-bombs and the air went right out of the room.  It took about five minutes for everyone to take a breath and recover.  It's not like we hadn't heard that word before, but it was in poor taste and bad overall context.

Lastly, be careful what you say when mentioning someone by name.  It is a small world out there after all and you can never afford to be caught saying something bad about someone else.  It could be a vendor partner, a competitor, a former colleague, an old boss, or anyone else you have been associated with professionally.  In the age of Facebook, Twitter, Glassdoor, and many other sites, it is incredibly easy to go down this path.  But you will eventually get caught in your words and it seldom ends up well.  Just like your grandmother always used to say, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."

So what is the best course of action if you say something inappropriate or witness it in an interview situation?  If you are the one to say something, be sure you own it.  Maybe even apologize right there in the moment.  It can happen to the best of us, but ignoring it will not make it go away.  And if it happens to you, try to extend grace but don't feel like you have to make excuses for someone else.  Talking that way could be a pattern, and just like I encourage you to own it, they should as well.  If they do not, then it may be best to move on.

Scot Dickerson, CPC
President Capstone Search