For years I’ve
counseled candidates who are preparing themselves for a face to face job
interview. There are several important topics for discussion and
consideration.
A
key component to a successful job interview experience is “rapport.”
WHAT IS THE
DEFINITION OF RAPPORT?
Rapport is often
defined in these terms: relation, connection, especially harmonious or
sympathetic relation.
Rapport is a good
sense of understanding and trust. If you have rapport with someone, you two
communicate with trust and sympathy. The word is often used to mean good
interaction between people in different positions.
Building rapport
is all about matching ourselves with another person. For many, starting a
conversation with a stranger is a stressful event; we can be lost for words,
awkward with our body language and mannerisms. Creating rapport at the
beginning of a conversation with somebody new will often make the outcome of
the conversation more positive.
HOW CAN YOU BUILD
RAPPORT?
- Talk
about established shared experiences, the weather, how you travelled to
where you are. Avoid talking too much about yourself and avoid
asking direct questions about the other person.
- Listen
to what the other person is saying and look for shared experiences or
circumstances - this will give you more to talk about in the initial
stages of communication.
- Try
to inject an element of humor. Laughing together creates harmony,
make a joke about yourself or the situation/circumstances you are in but
avoid making jokes about other people.
- Be
conscious of your body language and other non-verbal signals you are
sending. Try to maintain eye contact for approximately 60% of the
time. Relax and lean slightly towards them to indicate listening,
mirror their body-language if appropriate.
WHAT ABOUT BODY
LANGUAGE?
We create and
maintain rapport subconsciously through matching non-verbal signals, including
body positioning, body movements, eye contact, facial expressions and tone of
voice with the other person.
It is important
that appropriate body language is used; we read and instantly believe what body
language tells us, whereas we may take more persuading with vocal
communication. If there is a mismatch between what we are saying verbally
and what our body language is saying then the person we are communicating with
will believe the body language.
Building
rapport, therefore, begins with displaying appropriate
body language - being welcoming, relaxed and open.
body language - being welcoming, relaxed and open.
Reflecting back
and clarifying what has been said are useful tactics for repeating what has
been communicated by the other person. Not only will it confirm that you
are listening but also give you opportunity to use the words and phases of the
other person, further emphasizing similarity and common ground.
The way we use our
voice is also important in developing rapport...When we are nervous or tense we
tend to talk more quickly, this in turn can make you sound more tense and
stressed. We can vary our voices, pitch, volume and pace in ways to make
what we are saying more interesting but also to come across as more relaxed,
open and friendly. Try lowering your tone, talk more slowly and softly,
this will help you develop rapport more easily.
Here
is a recent article from the Wall Street Journal very applicable to this topic:
Scot Dickerson, CPC | President | Capstone
Search Group
